


Lost Without You

by awoogah123



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Andreil - Fandom
Genre: Exy (All For The Game), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26900539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awoogah123/pseuds/awoogah123
Summary: 5 times Neil and Andrew were scared of their relationship and 1 time they weren’t...
Relationships: andreil - Relationship
Kudos: 133





	Lost Without You

1.  
Kevin was a pretty light sleeper at the best of times, so when Neil started to cry out in his sleep, he woke up instantly. It was the middle of the night and the room was pitch black but for the bright light from a streetlight outside that flooded through a crack in the blinds, Kevin and Neil were in the bedroom alone. Kevin wasn’t exactly sure how long Andrew and Nicky were intending to play video games for, but from Nicky’s exasperated shouts that Kevin heard every now and then, they were in no rush to stop.  
Kevin sat up in bed, straining his eyes as he looked at Neil across the room, Neil was thrashing about in his bed, his breathing becoming faster and cries becoming more panicked with every passing second. It wasn’t unusual for Neil to be having nightmares, what with everything he’d been through, so Kevin wasn’t exactly surprised. As Kevin pushed his blankets back and slowly got out of bed, Neil started to speak, incoherently at first, but as he continued, it became clearer.  
“Andrew,” Neil mumbled, grabbing for something in the air. “Andrew,” Neil repeated, urgent this time. Kevin’s eyebrows flew up, whatever Neil was dreaming about, it was something to do with Andrew, and from the sounds of Neil’s cries and calls, he was in trouble. Kevin crossed the room and softly placed an arm on Neil’s shoulder, jostling him slightly,  
“Neil,” Kevin whispered, trying to rouse him. Neil jerked up, bolting upright, breathing ragged and heavy. “It’s okay, Neil,” Kevin said softly, “it was just a dream. You’re fine.” Neil stared up at Kevin wide-eyed, his blue eyes were glassy and his mouth was open as he fought for breath.  
“Thank you,” Neil breathed, voice cracking slightly, bringing his hands up and rubbing his eyes.  
“Andrew’s just in the living room,” Kevin said, “he’s fine, Neil.” Even in the darkness, Kevin could see Neil’s blush, face flushing red.  
“What?” Neil mumbled, deliberately not catching Kevin’s eye, boring a hole into a random spot on the wall behind Kevin’s head.  
“You were calling out for Andrew in your sleep,” Kevin explained. “He’s safe, Neil, he’s just in the living room. You want me to go get him for you?”  
“What? No,” Neil quickly shook his head, slumping back down against his pillows. “I can’t even remember what I was dreaming about, anyway.”  
“Okay,” Kevin shrugged, he didn’t believe Neil but he didn’t expect him to elaborate, either. “You want me to get you some water or anything?”  
“No, I’m good,” Neil shook his head, pulling his blankets up around him. “Thanks, Kevin.”  
“No problem,” Kevin replied, smiling slightly to himself as he headed back to his own bed – if only the two boys could be honest with themselves...

2.  
When it reached 8:30pm, Matt stood up from the couch – he’d been waiting on Neil since eight o’clock, and he was getting pretty bored now. Matt and Neil had organised ages ago that Neil would come round for a movie night; partially because Matt missed Neil being his roommate, and also because Neil had not seen any films ever. Matt had been planning on showing Neil Marley & Me ever since Neil had laughed at Matt for crying at The Fox and the Hound, which is very sad, may he just add. Anyway, since Neil had assured Matt that he would ‘never cry at a film’, Matt had been planning on showing Neil Marley & Me – it was not humanly possible for someone to watch that film without crying.  
After a couple paces of his room, Matt swung his dorm door open and crossed the hallway, to Neil’s dorm; he rapped on the door loudly, urging Neil to hurry up and open. Instead of Neil, Nicky opened the door,  
“Hey, Matt,” Nicky said, cocking his head slightly.  
“Is Neil in?” Matt asked, “He was supposed to be coming over.”  
“Oh,” Nicky said, slumping against the doorframe, “he and Andrew left a little while ago.”  
“Did they say where they were going?” Matt sighed.  
“As if,” Nicky laughed, shaking his head. “They’re probably in their private place,” Nicky winked.  
“Cool, thanks, Nicky,” Matt said, turning on his heel and heading down the hallway. It was common knowledge that Neil and Andrew hung out on the rooftop of Fox Tower, even if the others did act oblivious to it.  
As Matt stepped out into the cool night air, his eyes landed on the couple who were sat a little way away from him, their legs were dangling over the edge of the roof but their bodies were turned towards one another. Their faces were so close that Matt almost thought they were kissing at first, his eyebrows raised in surprise, no one else had ever witnessed a moment like this between the two boys. It took Matt a few moments to realise that they weren’t kissing, but the tips of their noses were touching; Andrew was whispering to Neil and Neil was working his fingers through his Andrew’s blonde hair.  
It took Matt a minute to remember the reason he had actually come searching for Neil in the first place, and he cleared his throat loudly. At the sound of someone else, the two boys wrenched away from each other, their faces flushing red as they whipped around to look at Matt.  
“Movie night, Neil,” Matt said, fighting the smirk that was threatening to break out. Neil nodded sheepishly, raking a hand through his hair,  
“Erm, sure.”  
“Unless you’d rather be up here,” Matt shrugged, trying his hardest to be casual. “I mean, we could always reschedule.”  
“No, tonight’s fine,” Neil said, standing up slowly, he shot Andrew a look before going over to join Matt. Matt stepped aside, letting Neil precede him; Matt glanced back as he stepped over the threshold, Andrew was still sat down, staring at the two of them as they left.  
“You could always come, too,” Matt shrugged, waiting for Andrew’s reaction. Neil, who was a couple steps ahead, stopped, turning back expectantly. “We’re watching Marley & Me,” Matt continued as Andrew stood up to join them. Andrew sucked some air through his teeth,  
“Jesus, okay.” Neil looked between the two of them, confused; Matt just smiled to himself, he was pretty sure his theory would be proved right tonight.

3.  
Dan dragged a hand through her slightly damp hair as she dropped onto one of the couches, she was feeling equal parts tired and excited from the game they had just played against the Jackals, where they had won 8-5. The rest of the team was sat around her, sprawled out on the chairs, listening as Wymack and Abby congratulated them – well, almost everyone, Neil and Andrew were still unaccounted for. Andrew had gotten into a fight with one of the Jackals’ backliners after they’d been causing Neil some grief, it had taken Dan, Matt and Kevin to pull him away.  
Dan craned her neck, glancing back at the boys’ locker room – the door was firmly shut and Neil and Andrew were nowhere to be seen.  
“Go and see if you can find them, will you?” Wymack asked, catching Dan’s eye. Dan nodded slowly as she stood up; as team captain it was her duty to ensure that all her teammates were okay. Matt, who had just left the locker room, had informed her that Neil and Andrew definitely weren’t in there, so she headed off toward the court.  
Despite the game finishing a good half hour ago, fans still milled around in the stands, and their calls and laughter could still be heard way down the hallway. Dan glanced into the offices, they were still nowhere to be seen. Dan was pretty sure that Andrew should be in Abby’s office, he’d been on the receiving end of a couple good hits earlier, of course, the other guy came out significantly worse.  
As Dan continued to make her way down the hallway, her steps slowed when she reached the foyer; despite the door being firmly closed, she could hear muffled conversation. Not wanting to grab their attention, Dan slowly eased the door open, not even an inch, just so she could see inside. Andrew was sat on one of the benches, the back of his head to the door. Although Dan couldn’t see his lap, she could see he was holding his hands out in front of him. Neil was sat on his knees on the floor, a small pile of bloody tissues beside him as he cleaned up Andrew’s split knuckles.  
“You need to stop doing this,” Neil said, dabbing at a particularly sore spot on Andrew’s right knuckle.  
“Stop what?” Andrew asked blankly.  
“Fighting people,” Neil said. “What will happen when you try and fight the wrong person? I’m not risking losing you.” Dan felt her heart soften at Neil’s sweet words, she’d never heard them act like this to one another before.  
“The wrong person?” Andrew repeated with a slight scoff.  
“You’re not invincible,” Neil said with a slight chuckle, pointing at Andrew’s knuckles.  
“That guy had it coming,” Andrew shrugged, “he was bullying you the whole time.”  
“You were standing up for me?” Neil asked with a teasing grin, Andrew reached out and smacked Neil lightly on the arm,  
“Shut up, junkie,” Andrew smirked. Dan stepped out of the room, letting the door close silently behind her, she leant against the door as a smile slowly spread across her face. Yes, she was pretty sure that Neil and Andrew were okay.

4.  
Aaron sighed as he stared at the dorm door, Nicky still wasn’t here. It had been Nicky’s idea to study in the library in the first place, the least he could do was turn up, Aaron had spurned Katelyn’s offer of hanging out for this. His impatience finally getting the better of him, Aaron jumped up from the couch and stomped out of his dorm, he crossed the hallway, and without knocking, barged into Nicky’s dorm. As the door swung open, Aaron could hear the TV blaring in the living room; he stormed in, expecting to see Nicky sprawled across the sofa. What he saw instead, stopped him in his tracks.  
Neil and Andrew were slumped across the sofa, backs to Aaron as they watched the TV, they must have missed his entrance because neither acknowledged him. It took him a couple moments to realise that his brother was in fact asleep, his head lolling against Neil’s shoulder as he breathed slow and steady. Aaron realised that Neil’s attention wasn’t on the TV, but on Andrew, instead. Neil watched Andrew, eyes filled with warmth as he ran his hands through Andrew’s blonde hair, brushing it off his forehead. Neil’s other hand was clutched in Andrew’s, their grips tight on each other, as if they never wanted to let go.  
Aaron stood there for a moment longer in a daze, this was the most relaxed he’d ever seen his brother, and to think that it was with Neil, was crazy. After a minute, he remembered the reason he’d actually come over, and cleared his throat loudly, making Neil aware of his presence.  
Neil’s head whipped around, hand pulling away from Andrew’s hair as he looked at Aaron, his cheeks flushed pink and he avoided Aaron’s eye.  
“Oh, hey, Aaron,” Neil said a little too loudly, causing Andrew to stir, he quickly lowered his voice. “I didn’t hear you come in.”  
“Yeah, I came to find Nicky,” Aaron said, still distracted from what he’d just witnessed.  
“He’s in the bedroom,” Neil said, nodding down the hallway.  
“Thanks,” Aaron said, turning on his heel; he started to walk down the hallway but stopped in his tracks. He turned back, Neil was still watching him, “I’ve never seen him be like this with someone before,” Aaron blurted out, nodding between his brother and Neil.  
“Oh,” Neil said, cheeks flushing red before he started to mumble something incoherently. Aaron stood there a moment longer, taking in the sweet scene, before flashing Neil a quick smirk and making his way toward the bedroom. Okay, maybe Neil wasn’t that bad...

5.  
Sweetie’s was pretty quiet for a Saturday night, and somehow, Nicky had persuaded the whole team to come out for a celebratory dinner – they’d won their match the day before and they were still riding on the high of the win. Allison sat in the corner of the booth, directly opposite Neil and Andrew, who were careful to keep themselves to themselves as they tucked into their food.  
“I’m still really hungry,” Matt announced, leaning back on his chair and stretching his long limbs out.  
“You just finished your dinner,” Dan said, pointing to Matt’s empty plate.  
“And three bowls of salad,” Aaron added.  
“Salad’s healthy,” Matt pointed out, “and free. I might go and get some more.”  
“Ooh, get me some more of that pasta,” Nicky called from across the table.  
“Come and get some yourself,” Matt said, standing up from the table.  
“Fine,” Nicky said sulkily, pushing his plate back as he stood from the booth. It seemed that the majority of the team wanted more food, because Dan and Aaron also followed Nicky and Matt to the salad bar.  
“I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” Renee announced to Allison, Allison waved her goodbye before turning back to her main point of interest – Neil and Andrew.  
Kevin, who was sat beside Neil, shifted uncomfortably in his seat, shooting Neil and Andrew a quick glance; Allison watched on, amused, as she knew Kevin was thinking the same thing as her, but probably not feeling so excited about it.  
“Y’know, they have free refills here,” Kevin said, shooting Allison a meaningful look across the table.  
“That’s nice,” Allison shrugged, tapping her perfectly manicured nails on the table. “Why don’t you go? Your drink is nearly finished.” Kevin nodded as he slid out of the booth, hovering by the table,  
“You sure you don’t want to come, Allison?” Kevin checked, “You’ve nearly finished your drink, too.”  
“Nah, I’m good,” Allison shrugged, flashing Kevin a quick grin. With a roll of his eyes, Kevin slowly walked away from the table; when Allison was sure he was out of earshot, she turned to Neil and Andrew. Neil was busy pushing his food around his plate whilst Andrew was busy staring at something out of the window, they were sitting close, close enough for their arms to touch.  
“So, how are you guys doing?” Allison asked, smiling sweetly. Neil snapped his head up, as if he’d only just realised she was there,  
“Okay,” Neil said slowly. “I’m okay.” Andrew stayed silent, not that Allison particularly expected a response from him.  
“And how are you two doing?” she asked, waggling her finger between the two of them. Neil’s face flushed bright red and a new tension set Andrew’s shoulders rigid.  
“What do you mean?” Neil asked, looking over at Andrew for help.  
“Don’t play dumb,” Allison sighed, rolling her eyes. “It’s only me, you can tell me the truth.”  
“We have no idea what you’re talking about,” Andrew deadpanned, but the pink flush at the top of his ears belied his words.  
“Okay,” Allison nodded, smirking as she relaxed back on the bench. “But just saying, everybody already knows, anyway. You might as well just own up to it.” This time, neither boy answered her, and that was all Allison needed to hear.

+1  
Neil let out a long sigh as his muscles finally eased under the hot water of the shower, practice had been pretty hard today, and he was definitely feeling it now. He could hear the spray of water in the shower next door and he fought hard to keep images of Andrew showering out of his head; it was only the two of them in the locker room – everyone else had already left.  
Once he had finished, Neil grabbed his towel from the hook and pulled it around himself, not caring about getting changed in the cubicle when it was only Andrew around. The room filled with silence, meaning Andrew had already finished showering; when Neil stepped out of the cubicle, Andrew spared a glance over his shoulder as he continued to dry himself off. Retrieving his clothes from his locker, Neil stood a little way down from Andrew and started to get dressed.  
Neil got dressed before Andrew, and as Andrew pulled his top on over his head, Neil went to stand behind him,  
“Andrew,” Neil said softly, words flying around his mind as he tried to work out what to say next.  
“Yes?” Andrew said, turning to face Neil, hazel eyes wide and expectant.  
“Andrew,” Neil repeated, “may I hold your hand?” Andrew’s shoulders tensed and Neil was sure that Andrew was going to say no, he started to step away when Andrew reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back.  
“Hold my hand?” Andrew asked, “Why?”  
“Because I wanted to,” Neil shrugged.  
“But—” Andrew cut himself off, glancing over at the door; Neil knew exactly what he was saying: but what about the others?  
“We might as well just own up to it,” Neil shrugged, quoting Allison from a couple days earlier. Andrew stayed quiet, his grip on Neil’s arm unrelenting, Neil took his silence as disapproval and quickly rushed to make things better. “Of course, we don’t have to. It was just a thought – it was stupid, really. We shouldn’t until we’re ready—”  
“Shut up, junkie,” Andrew said, cutting him off, a small smirk playing on his lips. His grip slipped from Neil’s arm, gripping Neil’s hand instead, and he squeezed it reassuringly.  
“Are you sure?” Neil asked, looking from their clasped hands to Andrew’s face.  
“It doesn’t change anything,” Andrew shrugged, leading Neil out of the locker room. The Foxes, who were chattering pretty loudly, quietened a little as Neil and Andrew left the locker room, their eyes instantly drawn to their entwined hands. Andrew was right, though, nothing changed – the Foxes continued to talk, but their expressions were a little lighter now, a little happier.  
Neil and Andrew sat down on the couch, their intertwined hands resting on Andrew’s left knee; Neil relaxed back on the couch as Andrew gave his hand another squeeze, deliberately ignoring Allison’s pointed smirk. Neil smiled to himself, maybe everything really was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Title based on ‘This Ain’t A Love Song’ by Scouting For Girls


End file.
